Hire the Ripper

Your brand wants the truth? Here’s the blade.

Some agencies will pat you on the head, collect your retainer, and drown you in buzzwords.
We don’t do that here.

At BrandRipper, we take your brand, strip it to the studs, and tell you exactly what’s working, what’s broken, and what’s downright embarrassing. It’s brutal honesty, delivered with a flair for the dramatic… because sugarcoating is for cereal boxes.

What You Get

  • Full Brand Teardown — Website, socials, ads, and presence dissected.
  • Actionable Fixes — Clear steps to clean up the mess.
  • Reality Check — No fluff, no jargon. Just the truth.
  • Ripper’s Verdict — Our final word, suitable for framing… or burning.

Choose Your Poison

  • Private Roast – Full price. Confidential. You get it all, no one else sees it.
  • Public Roast – Discounted. We publish it, the world watches you squirm.
  • Free (If We Feel Like It) – Sometimes we pick our own victims. Sometimes they’re lucky.

How It Works

  1. Fill out the Target Submission Form.
  2. We confirm the hit and send the invoice (unless you’re on the “free” list).
  3. You get your teardown — sharp, fast, and unfiltered.

Rates

  • Private Roast: Starts at $199
  • Public Roast: Starts at $99 (discount applied)

Prices vary depending on the size and complexity of the target. You’ll get a quote before we start carving.

Ready to get ripped?
Submit Your Target — and remember, the truth doesn’t care about your feelings.